Monthly Archives: June 2001

Hurt Trust

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What do we do when our trust is hurt? It is not easy to let go the feelings of sadness and fear… it is not easy to spend a single second without thinking what else is going on without us knowing about it. It is such a nasty feeling… it is the way I’m feeling now. And what is worst… I can’t talk openly about it here, but somehow I have to let it out because my heart and my soul are in so much pain and there is no one to listen to me right now. I feel I want to cry and scream, hit the walls, ask for a better explanation and not feeling like if it was my fault.

In Spanish we have a saying: “Quien calla, otorga” and that means that the one who keeps silence is giving you the right to believe what you want to believe. Because after confronting and not getting the right answers you feel even worse. It is like something special has broken, like a magical bond has been damaged… I just can’t explain.

Mom always told me not to put myself in situations where I can hurt others, especially when there is a certain stability in my life. And that is what I’ve trying to do for the last two years… and now I’m the one who’s hurt. I only wonder… is this horrible feeling of insecurity and mistrust going to leave somehow? I need lots of reasurement… and I need to know… what, who, how… yes, that’s me.

Which one is a lie?

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This new thing going on about 10 facts about ourselves and one of them not being true is cool so I’m going to try my luck here :)

1. I’ve never tried pot, marihuana, hierba…
2. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 19
3. Once I had 3 online affairs at the same time.
4. I have a tatoo of a butterfly on my shoulder.
5. Once I was put in probation at school.
6. The first time someone kissed me I was 11 and I didn’t like it.
7. I’ve eaten bat meat… yes, bat!
8. Once I hit a dog with my car, but it ran away.
9. I’ve sent internet virus on purpose.
10. I sent letters and gifts to a crush for a whole month.

Can you tell me which one is a lie?

Life with Patrice

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Well, I’ve officially decided to start taking weekends off the blogging business so, on boring Mondays (like today) I can come and ramble about them; pretty good, eh? :) I had a good weekend, except for a nasty headache that went away after 14 hours and 4 Tylenol.

On Saturday my hubby surprised me with tickets for the Montr�al Expos Vs. Philadelphia Phillies game (The Expos won 12-5!). It was the first time I went to see a Major League Baseball game and even it was not a huge event I enjoyed it a lot. It is really exciting, especially because I like baseball and I want to go tomorrow because they play against the Atlanta Braves (my favorite team, because it was watching them playing that I learned about the sport – we had cable T.V and got the TBS station in my city).

Sunday was quiet. Patrice and I relaxed, watched some T.V. and organized the house. At 8:00 p.m. in Space Channel we saw this program about the “Conspiracy Theory” on the Man on the Moon issue. They put evidence very clear to say that americans never went to the moon, etc… The NASA says that they went… it’s a mess. Finally, like Rhett Buttler I said: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”… LOL!

Today, I’m just here, updating my Favorite Reads list and chatting with some old friends :) My boss just call to say that they are going to give me more work (Yay!) so I guess I will be blogging from work this week (yes, I’m allowed to surf… he he!)

Well, I’m gonna take care of some other things here… take care everybody!

Thank you, Lee!

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I truly believe in what’s called Random Acts of Kindness and today I’m overwhelmed by all the kindness showered on me… for no special reason! Got this beautiful Lee… Yes! Bluezfire… out of nothing! She decided to send me a message and ask how I was and told me about her summer so far… Wow! and we are not so close. There are definitely lots of nice people out there and I thank God for that and thank you, guys!

Career Test

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I’m doing online tests (again!) today and came across the Career Test at Emode; here are my results:

Beatriz, you’re an Entrepreneur. Your mind is forever locked on the unforeseeable future, wondering how to make it a better place. Every movement needs a visionary, someone to lead the way and be the almighty powerful. And that someone is you. As a born leader, people honor your wisdom and are inspired by your commitment to your cause, company, or family. You’re capable of encouraging others to believe in just about anything you represent whether it be corporate restructuring, political reform, or healing crystals. But you’re also the independent type�a little elusive. You’re best directing from a distance where you can set strategy without getting involved in schmoozing or too much office politics. You’re the woman behind the scenes who’s holding the strings.

People like you: Martha Stewart (Huh??? Ewww! LOL)

Likely careers: Entrepreneur, realtor, insurance broker, travel agent, drug kingpin (what on earth is that? sounds bad! he he!)

Interesting, eh? [Via Ami]