Diario: Soledad
Hoy quiero escribir en Español, mi lengua materna. Algunas veces se me dificulta expresar lo que siento cuando tengo que utilizar alguna de estas dos lenguas que he adquirido por cuestiones del destino. Pero este es mi diario y al fin y al cabo lo hago para mí, entonces qué importa si los otros entienden o no? Suena algo egoista, pero hoy me siento aislada... sola.
Y es la soledad el centro de este texto; esa soledad de la cual no podemos escapar porque de una u otra forma somos nosotros quienes la buscamos y está ahí, como una mala costumbre que no podemos desarraigar, como una fiel amiga con la cual aprendemos demasiadas cosas acerca de nosotros mismos y nos asusta. Es en los momentos en los que estamos con nosotros mismos que miramos dentro y podemos reflexionar sobre lo que queremos en la vida, lo que nos frustra, lo que nos detiene, lo que nos aleja de nuestros sueños o nos acerca a ellos.
Regresé de mi país natal, donde estuve durante dos meses visitando a mi familia, hace ya casi un mes. Y es difícil volverse a adaptar a la falta del bullicio latino, con la puerta y el teléfono que suenan más de lo acostumbrado; de los vendedores de la calle, de mi sobrino que siempre llena la casa con sus risas y sus juegos. Si, es bien difícil, porque vivo en un país caracterizado por su ecuanimidad; donde cada quien vive su vida sin pensar en el vecino y donde, en realidad, no tengo amigos y menos una gran familia porque mi esposo es hijo único y sus padres son divorciados.
Entonces es la soledad la razón por la cual estas últimas semanas me he pasado preguntando a mí misma qué quiero hacer con mi vida? Algunas veces los mil interrogantes me vuelven loca, otras veces me ayudan a dilucidar que no estoy tan lejos de mi sueños y que con un poco más de esfuerzo podré saltar la barrera del miedo al fracaso, que es lo que me frena para arriesgarme.
En mi vida, he logrado más de las que jamás imaginé; pero quiero más, y para ello tengo que pensar, pensar, pensar... Porque siempre he sido impulsiva, porque muchas veces NO he tomado las decisiones más apropiadas. Pero llega el momento en que me detengo un momento y comprendo que algún día tengo que crecer y saber medir las consecuencias de mis actos.
Si, es en la soledad y el silencio cuando nuestras almas nos hablan. Por eso, aunque no me gusta estar sola, agradezco estos momentos.
Monday Morning
Song in my head (and my speakers): "Babylon" - by David Gray
Went to bed really late; was chatting with S and Tara (what a sweet girl! -did you hear me, Derek??-). But against all predictions I woke up very early and my first impulse was coming to the computer to check e-mails and hang out at my website.
Found Daisey online and we had a nice talk about my Web Designer dreams. Thanks a lot, Daisey... for your advice and what you did for me! It is very important to meet passionate people who can transmit their enthusiasm like you do!
Thinking about getting a new domain soon; even got the name and everything, but shhhh! don't want it to be stolen, he he he!. Other than that, it's just a normal Monday morning and I'm making plans for the week; we'll finish painting today, I guess.
Going to bathe myself and take a nap before hubby comes back. Good luck, everyone!
Tired but happy!
Phew! I'm so tired... but very happy! The colors we chose to put in the living room turned to be wonderful. It now looks like this cozy and warm place where you want to hang out all the time. Of course it's still a big mess, but give me two or three days and I will do wonders with it! Next week we're putting the wallpaper and a few things we want to get from IKEA (Yay!!).
It seems painting the living room with nice colors has lifted our spirits and I feel like there's more love around. Maybe it's because for the first time Patrice and I actually did something for the house together and it's good to take care of the place where we share our lives in; he told me "on fait �a avec amour, alors c'est bon!" (get a French-English dictionary, you lazy reader! LOL).
Well, La Gala de l'Adisq 2001 is on and I really like the Francophone spectacle so it's time for me to say good-night. Take care everyone!
Penauts Personality: Sensitive Linus.
The say: "When you're not philosophizing about the Great Pumpkin or the meaning of Christmas, you're cozying up to your friends, just like the L-man cozies up to his blanket. Linus is a deliberate dude, who believes that almost anything is possible. You probably like to think things through as well�we think that you and Linus would have lots to talk about! You're a fan of stability and familiarity, and find security in your oldest friends. You'll even share that blue blanket with your closest ones!".
Quick Hello
Just a quick hello. We put the first layer in the living room; it was fun but I'm extremely tired after getting up very early and work hard :) Hubby's watching hockey (I'm not really a big fan) and I'm here reading e-mails and putting labels to our computer CDs. Hope everyone's having a great time this weekend!
Via Daisey I found this cool site: Vilija. Great pictures! And impecable layout.
And via Kathryn I discovered what's my Magic Fairy Name: Petal Demonwand, who is a wicked and mischievous child, seen only when the seer holds a four-leafed clover. She lives in fields where wild flowers and poppies grow. Sweet, eh?
Discovering Jennet.org
Tonight's very quiet here. The house is a mess because we removed almost everything from the living room in order to paint tomorrow, so the only thing working is the T.V. but it's off. Hubby went to sleep early because we have plans to wake up very early, have breakfast outside and start working as soon as possible.
I'm not sleepy and of course, sitting in front of Mr. Compaq Presario trying to find something good to look at on the web. There's none of my friends online, so forget about chatting; however being alone is kind of productive when you're trying to find something new in this vast universe called the internet.
I know it is not new for many people that this guy, Jenett, really knows how to web. He's got all these cool projects and ideas... simply interesting. I guess I never took the time to really go and look what he's got to offer, apart from the Ageless Project; but I'm really having fun surfing and learning from him. It's like all he wants to do is encourage us, normal people who like the internet :)
And from Jenett I found a website many people should visit. It's called Tolerance.org; it's open for adults as well as children. Their goal is to awaken people to the problem of hate and intolerance, to equip them with the best tolerance ideas and to prompt them to act in their homes, schools, businesses and communities.
Definitely, two places worth to visit. See you all on Monday, for I don't think I'll be around this weekend. Take care and have fun!
