Does anyone know why I keep get a 500 Internal Server Error message when I try to use PHP extensions for the index and the archive files in MT? The pages won’t load in my browser. I have started another weblog (for family and personal purposes) over at my other domain –which site I’ll be launching very soon, if anyone is curious– and everything works fine in (S)HTML, but when I try to change the settings to PHP, I get the error. Help? I know for sure my host runs PHP (with the latest version installed), but I’m not sure if the error is caused by something in the server or if it’s a problem of the human interface between the screen and the chair… he he! I contacted Tech Support. We’ll see…

Another photo for the Hall of Shame - Since the Canadian Government has new laws about No Smiling on passport photos, I won’t have any problem because I’m not Canadian, but also because I already smiled all the allowed smiles you’re supposed to smile (excuse the redundant smile) for a document issued by the City of Laval.

You see, when I went to get my library card a couple of years ago, the lady put me in front of a polaroid, asked me to “smile… no, more… no, smile! no, more more more!”, so I gave her a HUGE STUPID smile for her to stop nagging me, thinking that she was going to say “not that big”. Well, I was wrong, she f* took the photo, the little witch. Now I have to carry this horrendous photo of myself and show it at the library every time I want to borrow a book. I’m seriously thinking of going to get a new one. I really have no shame showing this stuff to people here. Scary!

And for your information, here are the specs for the new photos on Canadian Passports. Check the “unacceptable” photos; I wonder if the neutral expression will really help. Anyone can just smile or frown their ass off and their expression will change too and “making it easier for security personnel to recognize travellers from their passports” will be obsolete. I really have to laugh at the way governments deal with security sometimes, but then again… what do I really know.

I’ve been rather scarce this week, mostly because I really don’t think there’s anything interesting going on in my life and well, I could discuss the current world events, but I don’t feel like to. My week has been kind of plain, like I said, except for my visit to the therapist on Tuesday, where she made me run, spin, breathe, hyperventilate, hold my breath… why you ask? Because she wants to expose me to all the physical sensations I have when I’m having a Panic attack, interesting!

So, that’s what I’ve been doing this week, “homework”. I’m also supposed to go out to places with a lot of people to see how my level of anxiety goes. I don’t suffer from agoraphobia YET, but if I didn’t put a stop to the panic/anxiety issues I was surely going to end up there. I’m learning a big deal with this cognitive therapy and one of the things I value the most is all the biological explanations for each symptom and the guarantee that nothing is going to happen to me, that I’m not going to go crazy, things like that. I don’t know how many of my readers are familiar with the Anxiety/Panic Disorder, so here’s a link where you can learn something if you’re interested.

Other than that, I’m here at home, taking care of little things, replying e-mails, writing letters to friends, the usual cleaning and still sending out CVs. Funny that I registered with Jobboom, so they send me options for jobs and today I received one from Urgel Bourgie, a funeral home… No, thanks… Not interested. I don’t go to such places unless it’s absolutely necessary; I associate them with pain, the pain I’ve gone through so many times, so I don’t think it would be wise to even think about getting a job there.

My plans for the weekend? I’m doing laundry today, so guess who’s going to be folding clothes? Moi, exactly. I’m probably heading for Omer DeSerres to get a few things and finally start putting my wedding photos on a nice layout, be a scrapbook or a simple album. I have enough scrapbooking supplies to start for now, all I want are eyelets and photo corners. And I think that’s pretty much it, unless the darling husband wants to do something else.

Canada has banned the public from smiling or frowning for passport photos, the foreign ministry announced Tuesday. — I guess I will have no problem with it, since I already have “de la misère” smiling in any photos. Besides, I don’t hold a Canadian passport yet… he he he!

Thanks to Roberto for the link!

I want to thank Jaya, Kristin, Raye, Martie, Christine and Meg for offering me their help with the labels. I thought about costs and being the practical person I am, I decided to go and look for them at Staples and print them myself. I am now the proud owner of 480 nice and clear labels with my return address; Patrice’s office printer has been used and abused… I called that machine all the names you can imagine (Avery is good, but sometimes you have to tweak too much). When I have something in my head, I have to do it and do it fast, I guess that’s a good thing. Thanks again, everyone!

Boy! Am I up early or what? It’s not even 6 a.m. and I’m already with enough energy to go through the rest of the week. Woke up an hour ago or so (I went to bed really early last night) and since there wasn’t much to do, I finished my homework for the therapist. She was on vacation and I’ve been procrastinating for 3 weeks about a grid I had to fill with my “paranoia” episodes — All for the sake of anxiety.

I went to take the driving test yesterday. I have to admit, and how silly of me, that I was extremely nervous; the last time I had to pass a test was like more than 4 years ago when I was still in school. Anyway, the test is easy if you read the documentation provided by the SAAQ and it’s really all about common sense, especially if you’ve been driving for about 15 years (that’s me). It didn’t take long and I passed. I didn’t score perfect, but between 80% and 90%… good enough.

I don’t have my driver’s license yet because I chose to practice a little before going for the road test, but they gave me a learner’s license (well, I paid for it) that allows me to drive with someone who holds a “real” license. I really don’t care, I’ve waited long enough to actually “surf” Quebec’s highways and I’m just happy to take the car. The road test is in two months, from which 1 week will be spent abroad… he he

Yes! I’m going to Colombia in October, YIPPEE!! I didn’t think it was going to be possible because of the job, but since I didn’t get it I decided to send CVs around with my availability dates starting October 14, after we come back from a flower show in Cartagena. This time I’m not going to spend a lot of time there and I’m not even going to my hometown, but my mom agreed about meeting us in Cartagena and at the same time have a little vacation for herself. I hope my brother will be able to come too We’re probably going for a couple of days in the capital with my family, too.

My plans for today: Clean the house a little, prepare and send more CVs, reply e-mails to best friend, go to see the therapist at 3 p.m. and then go to see Yenny, our travel agent, to decide on the tickets and hotel prices. We saw her yesterday but since the trip is with other people from Patrice’s office, there were other things to take care of. What can I say? I’m such a brat… Nah, I’m just thankful that the hubby works with flowers so I can get a taste of my country often enough.

A response to a blog post I just read, written by a good friend, but instead of hijacking his comments I want to write my thoughts here and speak in general based on what I read. The idea I get from the post (and its only comment) is that some people think that women who decide to stay home and take care of their children are only trying to avoid the responsibility of a job and what is worse, there’s the idea that taking care of a child is not a big deal and a very easy task. Wrong, very wrong.

It doesn’t matter if it’s one child or 5 children, it’s ALWAYS hard work. Yes, probably your mom didn’t complain much about it, neither did my mom (and she raised 5), but that doesn’t mean that sometimes they didn’t wan to put everything in the pooper and take a break. Times have changed, women talk more openly about their worries and frustrations. I happen to have a good friend who raises one child and is one of the smartest people I know; she goes insane sometimes, but yet her ability to love that child is amazing… Being a mom is a job you cannot quit and it’s a 24/7 task. What could be harder?

Just because a woman decides to stay at home and take care of a child, it doesn’t mean that life is going to be easier for her. In the first place, she’s taking care of a life, giving that child the tools to go and face the world one day; that is NOT an easy task. The husband goes to work and he doesn’t have to worry about that, he expects the woman to do her job and God forbids something happens to that child. Now, that’s pressure. She works extra hours and is not being paid either, she is expected to do things perfectly because there is no margin of error.

Children are not an excuse for “Not Working”. Some women just take the decision to be with their children every step of the way because they want to and I admire them for that. If I had any children I would probably stay with them because, for me, nothing is more important than raising your children. Sadly, consumption society is telling us every day to have the perfect house, the perfect car, the perfect friends, the most expensive clothes — That’s where part of the need to work comes from.

And no, it’s not the 50s, but the fact that there are women who decide to be SAHMs doesn’t mean they are out of the loop or simply a bunch of sissies that don’t want to face the world; don’t expect that because they “just stay at home” they don’t have the right to say they are sad or tired. I’m probably getting it all wrong, but saying that a woman chooses to raise her children to avoid a job responsibility, and that on top of that it is a very simple job, is not only preposterous, but the biggest lie someone can ever tell you.

Sure, you want to work and become a super-duper career woman? Be my guest, congratulations! You want your wife to work so you can feel good telling everyone that she’s a career woman? That’s good too. But don’t assume that because a woman stays at home taking care of her children she doesn’t have a job and she doesn’t struggle every day. She does, and probably harder than you could ever imagine.

I’m slowly but surely following the road to be less idiot and accomodate to Canadian society. Believe me, it hasn’t been easy, but there is nothing I can do against bureaucracy and family tragedies. Today I’m getting prepared to FINALLY take my driver’s test tomorrow; you think that something as simple as that doesn’t take a person 3 years and a half? Wrong… in my case, that’s what it has taken. Like I said, not my fault, I’m a good driver! This post is loooong… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

When I came to Canada, my Colombian license said it was expired, but it actually wasn’t. I could tell you the whole story and give you the name of the articles in the code that made it valid, but that’s not the point (but there was no way I could prove to the Canadian authorities that my license was valid indeed). Anyway, when I came here I sent the license back to my dad so he could get a new one for me, with no expiration date as all the new driver’s licenses are in Colombia. In the process, he died, I went back to Colombia, I came back to Canada, spent 6 months depressed and one year later I went to see my family again.

During the months I spent with my family in Colombia I renewed the license and came back to Canada ready to hit the road again, but I’m a big procrastinator and I just felt comfortable having my husband to drive me around. 10 months after having my Colombian license valid I decided to go for a “échange de permis” to the SAAQ and they told me everything was ok, they were going to get me a space to take the test, when this lady came saying that they couldn’t validate my license because I arrived in Canada in Dec. 1999 and my license said it was given to me in 2001, so they needed proof that I was holding a license before that.

Dizzy yet? Well, I got really angry that day and I told the lady that I had a driver’s license, proving I could drive and “what else do you need? darn it!”. I remember it was the first time I actually got so angry with a public employee when I always try to understand them. But the anger wasn’t going to take me anywhere, so I left the building and immediately called mom to ask her to get me a certificate where it said that I held a license before. And I’m not describing you the whole bureacratic process to have the translation and everything.

It turned out that when my grandma died and I went to Colombia I went to get the paper personally; it was not going to be ready for a couple of weeks and then Patrice had the accident, I had to come back to Canada and wait for my mom to send the paper by mail, which from Colombia can take ages, and I didn’t want her to spend a lot of money in express post. The papers finally arrived at the end of February (GASPS!) and I called to get an appointment at the SAAQ, which I got only a couple of months later.

I went to the SAAQ, passed the vision tests, they accepted the papers, but then I had to get a medical certificate because I’m Diabetic. So, there I was visiting the Optometrist and my family Dr. to ask them to tell the SAAQ that my health conditions weren’t going to affect my driving. I sent the papers and I got a response 3 weeks after saying that everything was fine and that I could proceed to get my Type 5 license.

(I was supposed to go for the test at the beginning of August, but then I was called to be told I was going to be hired by a big company here in Montreal and I had to postpone all appointments because I wasn’t sure when I was going to start training — As of this day, the stupid people at Human Resources of that company finally told me I wasn’t going to be hired because I didn’t speak perfect French — BS! I wasted a whole month and a half waiting to start working, for nothing.)

Ok, continuing with the story: I got another appointment at the SAAQ and that’s the one I’m going for tomorrow. To pass the theorical test and, if I want, the road test. But I think I’m going to pay for the learner’s license and practice for a couple of weeks to gain confidence in the roads of Quebec. Wish me luck!