I’m so tired I can’t even see straight, LOL. My secretary and I have been working overtime for a few days now, but we decided to catch up with sleep today and I finally could come home after work, take a shower and then a little nap. Even though I’m actually working on some stuff for the office, right now I’m just relaxing, chatting with friends from DCS and waiting for the evening to become a little more exciting, heh.

So yep… I’m really tired, but I’m also feeling quite well these days. The road to divorce is full of ups and downs, like one of those huge rollercoasters at Disney World, but I guess I’ve been put in the nice ride for a while and I’m so going to enjoy it. Life has a funny way to show you things are definitely going to be all right and these days… It feels more than all right. Now, if someone tells me a good way to stop smiling stupidly, I would be really thankful, he he he!

Yikes, been going crazy with work since last week. Secre and I finished at 10:30 p.m. tonight and I’m pooped, but I’m a net junkie and here I am at DCS Chat and trying to post something here so people actually have something to read, right? Life seems to be going well on Bea’s side these days… really good, I think. I’ve made a few great friends now that I’m back in Colombia and we go out a lot, all good clean fun. Makes me feel alive again and helps me overcome all the crappy times I’ve had to live in the last 6 months… So that’s keeping me busy as well. Having a social life back after 5 years is exciting!

The forecast for the rest of the weekend: busy as hell. But that’s OK with me. The more I do, the more I want to move and be active. Keeps my mind off things, makes me feel worthy. I miss (almost) everything about my life in Canada, but I think I’m adapting pretty well to my country. It’s been kind of a reverse culture shock, but hey… I get to see my cute nephew and niece every time I want and that’s just wonderful. So yep… life’s good these days, not always, but I have more good than bad days now and I think that’s huge progress. And then there are new and special reasons to smile today.

I think I’m gonna hit the bed now. So tired… Good tired…

Ugh, I didn’t want to talk about anything divorce related, but sometimes sh*t hits the fan and you’ve got to let it out. I’ve had a few really wonderful days, going out with friends, having fun, working hard, just peachy. But last night I came home to found an envelope from my ex-MIL with tax return papers. Yeah, things were taken care of, but it turns out I owe the Government of Quebec some money (really ridiculous amount, not worried about it), but I got the papers too late and I was in anger, first because I have to pay interests and second because now I have to find a way to send the money from Colombia. Not to mention they sent a check from the Federal Government and how exactly am I going to cash it here? Duh!

My ex-husband and his mother have been the most difficult people to deal with during this process. He’s hiding, doesn’t want to talk to me (coward), she doesn’t answer the phone… Anyway. I was so upset, so disappointed, so frustrated last night, first time I was actually enraged. But I hope (crossing fingers) this is the last thing I have to deal with until divorce is final in November and then this very ugly chapter of my life will be closed. Life definitely hasn’t been easy in the last 6 months, but I’m getting there. I just hate these set-backs which send me to the dumpster and make my rollercoaster ride kind of disgusting.

I feel like I’m the only weblogger dealing with this kind of crap, but I’m sure there are other freaky stories out there and I want to share a link to wonderful place I found in December: Divorce Care & Support @ MSN. If it wasn’t for all the friends I’ve made in there, I don’t know where I would be now. If you have a friend, a relative or anyone who’s going through divorce/separation, pass it on, it’s worth it. And if anyone from DCS is reading… THANK YOU SO MUCH, I love you all!

Ahhhh… Lunch break. I started to write a post twice today at the office, but responsibility comes first, so I had to just forget about it. Working as a Real Estate manager keeps me kind of busy these days and I’m mastering the art of dealing with angry customers with a smile on my face, yikes! But it’s a good job, I’m learning, my boss seems to like me and trusts me way too much (scary, actually). So, that’s what I’ve been doing… working since February, working in something I never imagined I would end up doing, but thanks to one of my best friend I’ve found a great place to spend my days and feel useful to society. Not to mention I’ve made great friends, too!

On less busy side, well… I’m gaining my old friends back and making new ones (really wonderful people), going out (maybe too much? Heh!), learning how to be “single” again (whatever that means), trying to have a life of my own and doing all those things I didn’t do hiding behind excuses. Working out at the gym three times a week, lost about 48 pounds already, went back to church, things like that. But I’m also planning on returning to Canada very soon now that I’m a citizen (Oh yes, since March 21st, 2005… My name is Bea and I am Canadian!). Details will follow when the right time comes.

I must go back to the office now, but I’ll be back later with more stories. Meanwhile, tell me how have you been doing? I really have missed this world!

May be a little self-absorbed, but since you haven’t heard from me in a while, here’s a photo of Bea as of June 13, 2005. Sorry for the bad quality, webcams and bad lighting are a bad combo. Smiles to all!

More photos here.

Where does one start after 6-7 months away from the blogosphere? And I mean AWAY because I have been not only NOT posting, but I haven’t read any weblogs on a regular basis. Domains are gone, designing tools are gone, design skills too it seems. I have no idea of what my blogroll has been up to, I have no idea what is going on in the world these days (OK, not that bad, but you know what I mean). As I type this, I’m feeling an adrenaline rush, anxiety, I can’t describe it. I missed all this, so very much, but at the same time I was dealing with one of the hardest moments of my life, so I guess being a weblogger wasn’t that important for a while.

What have I been up to? Waking up from a really bad nightmare. To make a very long story short: I’m not married anymore, husband left me. Not going discuss it here, it’s not worth it if I want to move on, so what’s the point? I’m in Colombia with my family, but planning on returning to Canada (soon) now that I’m a citizen (FINALLY!!). I’m working as a real estate manager, doing good, life’s not that happy all the time, but I’ve gained my family and my friends back (made some new wonderful ones as well) and I’m getting to know myself, which is the most important thing. It is in times of crisis when you learn the most and I guess I can say the very old “everything happens for a reason.” — I know what I want from life now, I guess.

I just wanted to say that I’ve missed all my online buddies so much, and this is an attempt to go back to something I enjoyed during the three years my beloved BeaLog was up. Before I get all sentimental here, I’m going to wrap it up and I’ll tell you more stories later. Again, so glad to be back!

Holy crappola! How long has it been? Ages, ages, ages! I’ve missed blogging so much. My life’s been a mess, but that’s a story that needs to be told later. I just wanted to say “HELLO BLOGOSPHERE!”. Damn it, it feels so good to be posting again… Thank you, Babsy! You’re a sweetheart and I’ve missed you tons.

I have to go back to work… Blog you later. Yes, I will! Woohoo!