For the Brave
"Please wear a poppy", the lady said,
And held one forth, but I shook my head
Then I stopped and watched as she offered them there,
And her face was old and lined with care;
But beneath the scars the years had made
There remained a smile that refused to fade.
A boy came whistling down the street,
Bouncing along on carefree feet.
His smile was full of joy and fun,
"Lady" said he "may I have one?"
When she pinned it on, he turned to say:
"Why do we wear a poppy to-day?"
The lady smiled in her wistful way
And answered: "This is Remembrance Day,
"And the poppy there is a symbol for
The gallant men who died in the war. "
"And because they did, you and I are free
That's why we wear a poppy you see.
I had a boy about your size,
With golden hair and big blue eyes.
"He loved to play and jump and shout
Free as a bird, he would race about.
As the years went by, he learned and grew
And became a man - as you will too. "
Sleepless in Saguenay
I wonder if I should call one of those radio shows that take calls from peeps at night, so I can come up with a sad story and someone across the country will inquire about the lonely lady and we'll do the whole Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks thing. OK, I'm being plain ridiculous now, blame my brain cells scattered all over the floor. It's 1:15 a.m. and here I am, wide awake. Anyone with common sense would assume that after a few stressful days I should be pooped, but somehow I manage to stay up late, probably looking for some company from my on line friends, since I'm the new kid in town and my social network is kinda invisible right now, but it's starting to grow.
Loneliness sure sucks, but it won't last forever. Once I start studying I'll make new friends... oh yeah... it's official, I GOT ACCEPTED by the Université du Québec to finish my BS in Biology! Something good had to happen to me, right? OK, my life isn't that bad, really. I'm just dealing with quite a lot these days, looking for that sneaky job, thinking about a way to make ends meet, being informed of the possibility of having to fight a legal battle over alimony. But there are good things, great things, going on and I should think about those every time I start to freak out about the future and wonder if I did the right thing coming here, all by myself.
When did I get here? Where did time go? A year ago I was taking a plane to go and spend a few weeks with my family in Colombia, totally innocent about the fact that my life was going to be "bouleversée" three weeks later by amazing news about my SO's not wanting me in his life anymore. From being totally hearbroken to being totally hopeful. From thinking I was weak to believing I actually am very strong. It's been a hell of a year and this is just the beginning. Yes, it's been a painful year and today marks the end of my "separated" status and the countdown for "divorced" starts. I survived, I learned, I regained my strength and now I'm here, trying to make the best I can to make myself proud.
All alone now, dumped once, dumped twice, doesn't matter... Doesn't make me a hero either, but life goes on, or so they say. What? Love? Sure, I'll take it, whenever I'm ready, whenever it's supposed to happen.
Little storms and the sun after
I don't know why I get so worked up about things sometimes. My life is a little rollercoaster these days and there was a new reason for me to get off balance today, but I always find something to feel better right after the little storms happen. I'm dealing with the whole social aid thing and I was told I may have to go after alimony, which I really don't want to do because I'm afraid my ex will hate me even more thinking it was my decision, and that kind of sent me into a bad funk. But I'm doing better after getting help from my friend Madi. I'm supposed to write this letter explaining why I'm asking for aid and that means going over separation issues all over again, which isn't funny, but must be done. It's either finding a job soon or getting the assistance from the government until I go back to school in January.
On the other hand, the school thing is going wonderful. I just talked to the director of the Biology program on the phone and he was happy to hear I decided to study full-time. He said he will prioritize my application, so I can register for the Winter session at the end of November and told me I shouldn't worry about anything, I'm admitted, even if it isn't official yet. It makes me really lucky to have this opportunity and my task for tomorrow is to fill in my student financial aid application and see how it goes, but I have faith. I've already met a few nice peeps at the university and they are looking forward to seeing me around. It will be a very rewarding experience, I know it.
Then to make things even better, I received a call from someone I met here last week. He wanted to know how I was doing, give me encouragement and advice about things I can do to keep myself busy. He was happy to hear about school as well and told me it was a wise decision. It's nice to find people who care about me, even if they just met me. I certainly receive blessings every day and I should learn to look at the bumps on the road as new departure points because from every bump, I get something good after.
Goodbye My Lover (James Blunt)
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
