Some days I wake up thinking “What the hell am I doing here?”, I feel scared, lonely, wanting to go back to my country, to my people. It sure isn’t easy to be here, but somehow I’m making it, day by day, going after my dream, trying to stay positive, trying to do as much as I can to succeed. I still don’t have a job, but I have met people who want to help me, CV’s are flying all over the place and I’m sure something will come up because I have faith in God and I know I can do something good for the world. I just need a little job to start, to build a financial base and then I can breathe and start thinking about other projects. School is always there, it’s my dream and I know I’ll make it come true, but right I need an income and I’m working hard trying to find a a way to get it. I just wonder what else is there for me to do? I need to gather more self-confidence and keep going… keep going. The worst that can happen is not even that bad, so I’m putting all my faith in God.

I’m going to hit the mall, drop a few CV’s, talk to people I’ve been referred to and put on a big smile. Some friends have told me the world will be mine, but I don’t want the whole world, I just want to achieve my goals. Coming to Canada all by myself is the biggest challenge of my life and I don’t want to give up before giving myself the chance to really fight for the things I believe in, for my dignity, for my right to become the person I want to become. This year’s events have changed me so much and I don’t want to be scared of life anymore. Who knows where destiny will take me, who knows where I’ll be 6 months from now, but here I am, I’m alive, I have all my senses working, I have good things going on despite the fear that crawls all over me sometimes. I’ll make it, I know it… I just have to keep believing.

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement. I really need them!