Let the end begin
Last day of March, where did time go? My last month of school will start on Monday and I have more things to do than time available, but if I made it this far, everything else will be just fine. Talked to one of my teachers this morning about a lab test I have on the 10th because I was worried about fucking it up, but he kinda laughed and told me to take it easy and don't stress too much about 10 points. I have this really bad habit of being a perfectionist, so he reminded me of the good old "give yourself a break, you're doing a lot of effort here!"
I also talked to the director of the Biology program about a 1st year class I'm supposed to take but that doesn't fit in my schedule next session and he said I can take it when I start my graduate studies. Errr... Yeah, I plan to go for a master's once I'm done with my B.Sc. -- I'm talking about Fall 2007, but it feels great to have a plan. Time will fly, I know.
Plans for the weekend? Wine & Cheese party at a friend's tonight and lots of studying for my tests tomorrow and Sunday. I have to post about all these good things to keep my spirits up. I'm feeling kinda blue lately, but it does get better every day, even with the going crazy at school.
Así es la Vida
One of my favourite songs in Spanish goes:
Así es la vida de caprichosa
A veces negra, a veces rosa
Así es la vida, jacarandosa
Que te quita, te pone
Te sube, te baja
Y a veces te lo da.
It's about how life gives you things and takes things away from you. I don't know if it's obvious that I've been feeling blue lately, but yes... I am feeling blue. Everything is going well, but I still feel sad sometimes, I can't help it, divorce is harder than anyone can imagine and I certainly don't wish it to anyone.
So yes, life is hard sometimes, but it also gives you reasons to be happy. I got wonderful news today: The University of Quebec gave me all the credits I asked for, and as of now I'm a 3rd year student who will hopefully graduate in May 2007. My previous studies (and good grades) allowed me to jump from 1st year and now all I have left is a few courses and my research project, which I chose this session and will start working on during Summer.
I'm definitely doing what I have to do and I feel proud of myself, especially because it isn't easy when I'm all alone. Now I realize I have dreams and ambitions, I just didn't have someone to give me full support and who decided it was better to judge me and to blame me for his own lack of commitment and his cowardliness. He sure lost more than I did, he lost me.
Life in Chicout
If anyone is interested in taking a look at my "domestic" life, I've added a bunch of photos to my MSN Space. They are mostly of my roomies and my friends from school. Now that it's getting warmer I plan on taking the camera out more often. Comes Summer... I'm gonna go crazy. I plan to see as much as I can.
Read somewhere
"It's amazing how cruel our spouses can be when they've decided that they no longer need us in their lives. Suddenly we're just a hinderance, not a human being, not someone with feelings, not a lover, just a big obstacle in the way of their pursuit for happiness."
I didn't write that. One of my message boards buddies did. How true... How sad and true. I can deal with the whole "I don't love you anymore" thing. It's the cruel ways he used to end it all up I still have trouble with. Gut wrenching, actually.
J'imagine qu'il peut l'ajouter à sa liste d'accomplissements. Oy!
Sleepless…
As much as I'm loving being back in school, the college life, the new friends, the social environment and discovering all the wonderful things I can do on my own, sometimes I wish I were still at "home", feeling safe and having someone to hold me while I sleep, someone to hold me when I'm feeling sad, like tonight. Dammit.
