Monthly Archives: November 2006

Safe Shoes

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The sense of security you get after having your winter tires set is amazing. And I was a lucky one when I bought my car at the end of April because the deal included them. Otherwise, I don’t know where I would get the money to get them now. But yes, my life’s easy like that sometimes. I finally had the safe shoes installed this morning (we’re having a very weird weather and it doesn’t look like winter, so I was procrastinating). I also went to pay for driver’s license and I’m good until 2008. Les routes du Québec m’attendent, heh!

Holiday Meme

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Let’s see if this one makes me be less of a Scrooge.
[Seen at Logtar's, who stole it from Candy]

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot chocolate because eggnog may taste good, but it’s still raw eggs! Ouach!

2 . Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Oh, he likes to wrap them in nice paper and beautiful ribbons.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Coloured. I’ve always liked them better.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
Nope, never done it. I hope I’ll get kissed under it this year, though. ;)

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Used to be at the end of Nov., but it’s been two years since I don’t put any.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?
From Colombian dishes, I always appreciate my grandma’s tamales the most.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child.
The big novenas at my father’s workplace. Lots of people on the soccer court.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I didn’t learn anything about Santa. It was Baby Jesus who brought the gifts.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Just one? I open them all on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
My ornaments are made of wood. Little soldiers, horses, etc. I put lights, too.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Depends on what you’re planning to do. It can be fun, but can also a bit PITA.

12. Can you ice skate?
Nope, but I can land on my butt very graciously. :)

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I’ve gotten plenty of things that I’ve loved. I can’t think of just one right now.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
The meaning Christmas holds for us Christians. And also being with family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Manjarblanco y desamargado! YUM!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
The novenas in front of the nativity scene.

17. What tops your tree?
It used to be a star with lights on it.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
I would say giving, but receiving is fun too… Especially love!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
Salve Reina y Madre. A villancico. :)

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Absolutely delicious!

Spiritual Beings

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“Life is not some kind of test, that if we fail, we will be punished. We are not human creatures who are being punished by an avenging god. We are not trapped in some kind of tragic place out of which we have to earn our way by doing the “right” things. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience. We are here to learn. We are here to go through this process that is life. We are here to feel these feelings.”
– Robert Burney from his book “Joy to You and Me”

While in break during class yesterday, I was talking to a friend from school and I shocked myself when I said some preposterous things about life being a series of sad experiences. I mentioned human suffering and I heard myself say life is hard most of the time. Then I stopped and thought about it. I really do NOT believe that. I got especially worried when I heard my friend say that he doesn’t really believe in anything and that the more he studies Biology, the less he believes God exists. I felt like crying, and I even questioned my academic choice, but that’s another story.

All human beings are faced with pain at any given moment, and while we see some people going through more painful lives than others, at some extent every person in this world experiences suffering in some way or another. It doesn’t matter you lead a life others would consider good, it is always touched by sadness. And we ask why, we want to know who’s playing a big joke on us every time things get bad. I could go on about the whole God’s giving us free will and such, but rather than getting into a religious discussion, I’m just trying to understand human nature. And unfortunately, suffering makes part of it.

I really have no idea of what I want to say. That quote at the beginning of the post was sent to me by a friend after I told him about my friend in Colombia passing away. I suppose I just wanted to share it because I really liked the “We’re spiritual beings having a human experience” part. This human experience is full of trials and tribulations and I personally choose to go through them under the light of my faith in God. It’s very sad to see there are people like my schoolmate who don’t want to believe and who have that sad look on their faces because they have no hope, no meaning and no goal… no joie de vivre!

Isn’t it ironic?

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I just got back from my lawyer’s office. I signed an affidavit and a divorce sentence petition to the court. It feels weird because I’m the defending part (I hate that term, as if I were sued for something bad), and it is me the one who is deciding when things are going to be over for good. I teared up a little when signing those papers, not because I have any feelings left for my ex-husband, but because I think this is a sad ending for something I always considered a beautiful life project. There I was, asking the court to end up my marriage, and it wasn’t my decision in the first place. Oh, the irony!

Things like this make it hard for me to believe in marriage again. Do not misunderstand me, I DO believe in love (I have special reasons to believe in it!), but I hate the complications that derive from a broken marriage. Apart from the pain we have to go through when someone stabs us directly in the heart, there is the legal crap to deal with. And it’s even worse when you don’t understand much of it because you walk into divorce blinded by the unfair actions of others.

My divorce has been going on for two years, and I still don’t consider myself capable of telling anyone about the legal procedures or what they should do in order to have a fair treatment. I think what hurts me the most right now is the way things went for me, when my ex-husband wanted to take so much advantage using my vulnerabilities. I still go to the lawyer’s office having no idea if I’m doing the right thing, or if I should’ve fought back harder. It doesn’t matter anymore.

I’m still sitting and waiting until the day this nightmare will be over.

I’ve lost a mentor…

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In February 2005, when it was very hard for me to believe in myself, there was someone who trusted me like I had never been trusted before. She gave me a job and the chance to move on in the middle of a storm, she taught me that life is made of struggle, but worth living.

My boss, Ofelia, passed away today after two long years of fighting Cancer. I know all the pain she went through, not only because of her disease, but also because things got difficult for her company. I walked with her through that difficult path, while she encouraged me to go on despite my broken heart.

To say I’m speechless would be an understatement. This woman was the perfect example of not giving up. What I learned from her, I will never forget. And now I feel sad, but I know she finally found some peace. I’ll always be grateful for all the things she did for me, but especially for believing in me when I was at my lowest.

I thank God for Ofelia’s life, and I pray for her family.