Today’s Friday’s Feast is about Christmas.

Appetizer
What is one of your Christmas traditions?
Getting to say hello to neighbours and share Christmas food. YUM!

Soup
Who is the easiest person on your list to buy presents for?
That has to be the cat because she won’t complain. Hah!

Salad
What is your favourite Christmas scent?
Hmmm… Cinnamon, I guess. I like the potpurri.

Main Course
If you could give a fellow blogger a Christmas gift, who would it be and what would you give them?
Ah! Easy. I would give Logtar that PS Dance thingy he likes so much.

Dessert
What’s something on your Christmas wish list this year that you need?
I really don’t NEED anything, except for some inner peace, as usual.

I’m watching “Must Love Dogs” for the 3rd time. I’m seeing Diane Lane playing the divorced woman role, just like she did in what became my favourite movie, “Under the Tuscan Sun.” — I like it how the character loses her marbles from time to time. She gets angry at the grocery store clerk who wants to sell her more chicken than she wants because she’s a divorced woman who eats alone, usually standing over the sink. She gets angry at the guy who plays her and makes her feel used, she tells him off, she screams “I hate guys like you!” — I love it, that very human side.

And this is probably what I haven’t done, drop the basket, get angry, tell people off when I’m feeling frustrated. It is OK to be angry, and it is healthy to express it. It doesn’t mean I have to go off like a loaded gun and spurt a bunch of horrible words, but I feel like I’ve just kept it all inside for too long, trying to keep some composure when there’s a volcano inside me.

Yeah, I definitely like it how Diane Lane loses her composure, cries, becomes like a little girl throwing a tantrum. Sure, it doesn’t sound that mature, but the more you keep things inside, the more they are going to eat you alive. I guess next time I’m feeling upset I’ll pull a Diane Lane in Must Love Dogs and see how that goes. And no, it isn’t a threat… I’m just thinking.

I know April is probably not going to appreciate this entry because she gets fed up with people who blog about their cat, but man! My afternoon has been really interesting dog-sitting for a friend. The resident cat of the house… Well… That isn’t a very social kitty for sure. So the doggie decides to be nice and get close and kitty goes HISS HISS HISS MEOWWW! Doggie comes to me shaking and scared, I hug doggie and scold kitty. I had to put kitty on time out for a while, and doggie’s sitting right next to me, chilling.

I wonder if I would make a good mommy. I sure know how to separate fighting kids. LOL — Gonna check on grounded kitty now.

When I hear divorcing people saying “I never loved him/her” I have to ask “Then why the hell did you get married?” — I know I married for love and I certainly hope that at some point my ex-husband felt the same, even if it didn’t work. I can’t believe someone walks into marriage feeling absolutely nothing for the person they choose to be with. What kind of sick and twisted individual decides to be with someone if they don’t even like the person? I do not believe that’s the way it is.

Unfortunately divorce is a very ugly matter and horrible things are said in the middle of it. I’m somewhat grateful for the way I dealt with mine, always trying to be as nice as possible, always avoiding saying words I would end up regretting no matter how hurt I was. Yes, I’ve had my moments of anger, I’ve thought the worst about the man who left me, but I don’t deny that I loved him very much, I don’t deny he is a good man and that, when we were together, he was a good husband. And I’ve NEVER said any mean things to him, mostly because of me… Because I know I would’ve ended up feeling worse.

Why does love die? Why do we stop loving? I have no idea. I’m not the one to judge other people’s relationships. Some get bad with time, some are bad from the very beginning. Every relationship has the potential to end, and when they do, I think we have to show some self-respect and deal with it graciously and with dignity. Being around divorce support groups has shown me the human nature at its worst sometimes. And what’s sad is that losing our temper and becoming asses seems to be the way for many people who let others control their life instead of moving on.

Time Magazine has chosen internet users as “Person of the Year” — That means me, right? I always knew I was going to be famous one day, hah! Not only that, Time Magazine also chose YouTube.com as the best invention of 2006. Kinda cool to realize that I make part of a cool community. Funny to think that old school people (like my parents) see the internet as the devil’s spawn. For me, getting online is just a normal part of my life, like drinking water, my window to the world, my way to stay in touch with people. The internet… That’s the best invention of the 20th century for me. Awesome.

The first entry I wrote about this totally sucked, so I’m rewriting it.

I went to see Apocalypto with some friends yesterday. There was a moment when I thought “I can’t stomach this, I have to get out!” — But I stayed and I’m glad I did. It is a crude movie, more blood than I can actually bear, but absolutely fantastic. I knew little about the Mayas, but goodness gracious… This movie really made me see what kind of people they were.

I remember my Anthropology class at the University of Montreal, where the teacher discussed the fact that in our mind, the religious rituals of the Mayas and the Aztecas would probably seem barbaric to us. Well… Hmmm… Yes, they do. But as far as the sacrifices to the gods go, I think I’m okay with the meaning of the blood shed, but there were parts of the movie when I thought “These people were absolutely mean!”

But I’m not going to discuss the Mayan civilization here. What I appreciated the most about this movie is the importance of love. The struggle of one single man to return to his family, the strength he gathered from his desire to go back to the woman he loved and his children, his never giving up. And that’s the centre of human nature when values are put first. That is what made me stay in the theatre and deal with the violence of the film.

This is definitely a must see and I don’t feel like spoiling the fun for anyone who reads this weblog and wants to see it, so what are you waiting for? Go see Apocalypto NOW! Mel Gibson did it again.

A very sad thing about separation and divorce is that, somehow in the middle of our pain and frustration, we tend to look only at the “bad” side of the person we were with. Then the name calling starts and the person we once loved with all our heart becomes the devil himself. It is hard to take a look back and realize that at some point things were good and we were in love; mostly because we’re hurt and we want to justify the breakup making appear the other part as the big bad wolf. Quite sad…

When my marriage was over, one of the things I asked the most from God, was that my heart wouldn’t fill up with resentment because it would only hurt me. I’ve called my ex-husband names many times, and then I feel sorry for it. I know it’s like self-defence, a way to feel better… Who knows! But I made a promise to myself a long time ago, not to say anything bad about the man I shared my life with for almost 6 years. And while what happened at the end was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had to live, I know he’s not a bad person. We both made mistakes, but we also had plenty of good moments I will always cherish because in some ways they made me the person I am today.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Probably because it makes me very sad to see how people who are going through a divorce/separation tend to say horrible things about the person who’s not with them anymore. Why do we have to put others down in order to feel better about ourselves? A breakup is no laughing matter, but crap happens. And we have two choices: get bitter or get better. The fact that a relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean the other part is a loser or someone who doesn’t deserve to be loved or happy. We are all humans, and that makes us NOT perfect.

I have no idea of what things my ex-husband has said about me and I really don’t care anymore. For him I may be the wrong person to be with, for someone else I may be the right one and that goes for everyone. I just hope that some day, when he looks back, he will be able to realize that it wasn’t all bad and that I brought something into his life, just the way he did to mine.

Friday’s Feast One Hundred and Twenty Two

Appetizer
What was your very first job with a paycheck?
English teacher for pre-school kids. That was so cool!

Soup
Did you ever lose something really important to you?
My dad, two brothers and my grandma.

Salad
What is the best Christmas present you ever received?
A Canadian resident visa, back in 1999.

Main Course
Tell about a favorite “hang out” place when you were in high school.
Hah! El Drive-In de Las Mercedes. Good times.

Dessert
Name something that always brings a smile to your face.
Photos of my brother’s kids ‘coz I miss them so!