People will suck life out of you, only if you allow them to do so. This is what I think of when I find out about something that upsets me, or something that makes me doubt either myself or those around me. Then I stop and think about the source, especially when it’s someone who spends his/her life oozing venom through every pore on their skin. What kind of credit can we give to a person like that?
One thing is reacting to different situations in the heat of the moment, when we get hurt, because that’s our animal instinct. But another very different thing is doing something with malice and with the sole purpose of hurting someone for whatever we think they did against us. And while I think we’re entitled to express how we feel, we just can’t spend our time trying to deny we make mistakes too, and blaming other people for everything that goes wrong in our life.
When I got separated, I spent way too much time blaming myself for the failure of my marriage. Then I found some balance, and I realized mistakes were made by both of us. To this day I can say I hold NO resentment against my ex-husband, and while there are times when I still feel frustrated, I keep in mind I cannot read his mind or try to figure out the reasons why he did what he did. It’s just not worth it.
To be able to look in and accept we’re to blame as much as the other person, is one of the most important steps on the way to recover when relationships go sour. It doesn’t make us or the other person good or bad, it’s just that sometimes things are not meant to be. So instead of oozing that venom every single day, I think we should let our heart heal.
No matter how angry or disappointed we are, there is a way with words some people don’t seem to have. To point fingers without mercy and do things only to disgust others is probably not the best path to follow. In the end, the only one who will get hurt is us.
Note: Edited thanks to Roberto. :)
