I was helping my niece getting ready for school this morning, and she mentioned she was scared because she had a spelling test. Based on what I’ve seen, she’s a very smart 9 year-old who’s gotten straight A’s during the last month. I didn’t take her fear lightly, though; I know how it feels. I told her it’s OK to be a little nervous before a test, but that I was sure she was going to do fine… more than fine. Then I said something to her and now I’m wondering if it’s the right thing to say to a kid: I said it’s OK to fail sometimes, that life is not perfect all the time, and that failing just means we’re human.

I don’t have children, but I have nephews and nieces, and in my heart I feel we all should strive to encourage our children to succeed in life, but we have also prepare them for failure because it happens whether we’re good or not at something. I grew up being so afraid of failure I didn’t try many things or I simply grew tired of them when I didn’t excel. Then in adulthood, I discovered that my most rewarding experiences actually originated from failures where I learned and acquired tools to make it better the next time.

Giving up and just going with the flow is definitely not a good approach to life, but children need to be taught that sometimes we don’t get all A’s, or we don’t win all the football games. It’s life, it’s learning. And we are still as good as when we succeed. I learned it from my parents who wanted me to do the best I could, but to never doubt myself when it didn’t go well. And for that, I thank them.