A million threads

When starting a new serious relationship after almost 2 years of being alone, I had the normal fears of any person whose marriage ended. Fear of making the same mistakes, fear of getting hurt again, fear of not being capable of giving, fear of not being suitable for anyone. Once the bond of marriage is broken, we start wondering about what went wrong. We go from feeling like a victim, to feeling like the torturer. Blame, guilt, regrets. And then there’s lots of analyzing our past relationship, so we can learn something from it all, but most of all, avoid anything from that past relationship that can jeopardize the new one.

Of course I want to say my boyfriend is an amazing person, almost Superman-like, but that’s just because I’m in love and biased like in 10 different levels. But amongst the many little lessons I learn from him every day, here’s my favourite: Relationships are like a cord formed by different threads. The more threads it has, the more resistant that cord is. The threads are twisted and bind for extra support. What he’s trying to say is that every relationship needs a lot of variety in likes, values, goals, and day to day experiences. Those threads are needed for the relationship to be strong, for its success.

How many threads are there in my relationship cord? I have absolutely no idea, but I have the feeling it has WAY more than the old cord. The most important being trust, and the conviction that once we decide to share our life with someone, it is a commitment and it should be respected. With 60% of marriages going to the dumpster, I still want to believe love can last. So I’ll become a knitter, adding more threads every day, in different colours, and different styles. And I’ll hold on to that cord with all that I am, and all that I have.