I Don’t Want to Carry the Weight Anymore

Moving to Chicago meant I had to get a whole new set of doctors. I’ve been lucky enough to find good ones that (seem to) know what they are doing and with very short drives from home. My first visit with the endocrinologist was great and I’ve been taking care of myself, following (almost) all his recommendations. Next appointment was with the OB-GYN to discuss my rather frustrating femaleness and the whole trying to conceive thing; not an easy task for a person like me.

I am not blind to my health issues. I am morbidly obese (that took courage to write down!), I have type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a poor-functioning thyroid gland and other conditions related to my weight. It annoys me to no end when people talk to me as if they think I have no idea of what I have to deal with. Yet I don’t do enough to change things; or maybe I do but it doesn’t work.

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t make resolutions, but…

This year is a little different. Maybe it’s the numbers, multiples of 5 (it’s 2010 and I just turned 35); maybe it’s because 2010 is the Year of the Tiger and I’m one; or maybe I’m going through some kind of mid-life crisis that is turning out to be more positive than crazy. Whatever the reason is, I feel like I’ll be going through some big changes and I like it.

The biggest project of 2010 for me will be to pro-actively work on trying to conceive. For years I longed for one, it didn’t happen, I was miserable, then I accepted it… and then I gave up. OK, I wouldn’t put it that way; I simply started thinking that if it was God’s will for me not to have children, I would accept it without question. And when I married John, one of the things that I loved the most about him was the fact that, while he would love to have kids, he really didn’t care if we could or not. After all, there is always adoption.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why are we so afraid of failure?

I was helping my niece getting ready for school this morning, and she mentioned she was scared because she had a spelling test. Based on what I’ve seen, she’s a very smart 9 year-old who’s gotten straight A’s during the last month. I didn’t take her fear lightly, though; I know how it feels. I told her it’s OK to be a little nervous before a test, but that I was sure she was going to do fine… more than fine. Then I said something to her and now I’m wondering if it’s the right thing to say to a kid: I said it’s OK to fail sometimes, that life is not perfect all the time, and that failing just means we’re human.

I don’t have children, but I have nephews and nieces, and in my heart I feel we all should strive to encourage our children to succeed in life, but we have also prepare them for failure because it happens whether we’re good or not at something. I grew up being so afraid of failure I didn’t try many things or I simply grew tired of them when I didn’t excel. Then in adulthood, I discovered that my most rewarding experiences actually originated from failures where I learned and acquired tools to make it better the next time.

Giving up and just going with the flow is definitely not a good approach to life, but children need to be taught that sometimes we don’t get all A’s, or we don’t win all the football games. It’s life, it’s learning. And we are still as good as when we succeed. I learned it from my parents who wanted me to do the best I could, but to never doubt myself when it didn’t go well. And for that, I thank them.

Goodbye, Dorothy Gale!

 
I turned in my resignation yesterday. My husband did the same thing a couple of weeks ago. Farewell parties have been held, apartment lease is over, the cats are trained to go in a pet carrier. Yes, we are leaving beautiful Kansas City, and while it’s sad to say goodbye to good friends, we’re very excited because of new opportunities in Chicago where John has a new job.

For the first time in my life, I really feel like I’m leaving my home-away-from-home behind. It is a bittersweet depart; we go with boxes full of dreams to start a new life in a magnificent city, a place we both love, a place we’re familiar with, a place we have always wanted to go. John’s family is there, so that’s a big plus and probably the main reason why he accepted the offer.

These last 3 years of my life are amongst the best. Not only because I started rebuilding my life next to a wonderful man in a wonderful place, but also because of all the people I’ve met. Each one of you has enriched my life in a very special way. We’ve had our ups and downs in the land of Dorothy because that is human nature, but Kansas City will remain one of my favorite places in the world and I’m sure we’ll be back.

I can’t do the list thing like my husband did; I don’t want to experience the wrath of Meesha (hey! you’re the only one named here!) but I want to thank you all for the good times, the support, the laughs, the beers, the monthly blogger meet-ups, the tweet-ups, the opportunities to do volunteering, the good food, the company, the impromptu lunches, the Battlestar Galactica games, the many bottles of wine you’ve provided, the fun stories, the drama, the intrigue.

But most of all, I want to thank you for opening the doors of your house and your heart to us. For me, you are family, you will always be. I hope to see you in Chitown, so we can continue having fun and John and I can feed you real Colombian feed cooked by the masters.

God bless you all, I will miss you… like the deserts miss the rain. :-)

I’ll Walk to Fight Diabetes

I went to see my endocrinologist last week; I hadn’t seen her in a long time. In my defense, I made sure that even if I could not see her, I at least made an appointment with my PCP to have regular check-ups and blood tests done. I was, however, very regretful for not seeing the endo earlier. Anyway…

My A1C levels are still within the normal range (keep in mind I have diabetes, so normal for me may be high for others). I have lost 10 pounds without even making an effort, and she celebrated it as if I was the winner of the “Biggest Loser” contest. That’s why I like my endo so much; she encourages people to keep trying and doesn’t bring them down for stuff like bad cholesterol levels (yes, I haz dem, she increased Zocor dose).

The rather successful visit to the endo makes part of my new motivation and I’m very happy about it. When I told her I was doing the ADA StepOut: Walk to Fight Diabetes, she gave me a nice high-five. I guess doctors like patients who are aware of their conditions and pro-active about them. I’m trying. I should try harder, but I’m getting there.

That being said, diabetes is something patients can manage with discipline. But there is still so much to do. That’s why I try to be part of campaigns to educate people and share our experience. That’s why this year I’m completely elated to have my own StepOut Team: Bea’s Friends for Diabetes. I’ve received an amazing response from my friends with donations and their willingness to join me on that day.

I’ve been in contact with the local chapter of the American Diabetes Association and I’ll be meeting with their coordinator next week to discuss the possibility of joining the StepOut organizing committee next year. I can’t wait to get more active, especially now that I’m an ambassador for the Diabetes Hands Foundation. Being able to transmit information about my condition makes me want to learn more about it, and manage it much better.

So, if you’re not doing anything special on September 26th at 9 a.m. come and join us at the Theis Park in Kansas City, MO. Make part of my team and walk with me to fight diabetes. If you can’t make it to the walk, consider making a donation (even a small amount makes a world of difference). Thank you so much for all the support!