I really have no idea if anyone reads this blog anymore. I have been blogging for so long (10 years) I think it would be a waste of time and cyberspace to just delete it; so I keep it like a bad habit. And since my last update is from May and my friend Aaron asked for one, this is pretty much what I’ve been up to:
That’s pretty much it for now. Say hello, let me know you’re reading. :)
Yes, that’s what I’ve decided to call my fertility doctor. I’m sure he has some tricks up his sleeve so my husband and I can become parents. The appointment went well… all routine, I suppose, but I feel like I’ve entered a new phase. To be honest I was expecting him to look at my clinical history and tell me “Dang, this is going to be difficult!” — Apparently I have textbook infertility; hopefully it will make it easy to deal with. I’ll spare you the medical information because quite frankly I think nobody wants to hear about the odds and ends of my PCOS.
I loved the doctor. Even if he’s extremely busy, he takes the time to talk to you in clear enough terms so you understand what’s going on. But what I liked the most is the fact that he gives you credit, he knows what kind of person he’s talking to, he doesn’t talk down to you, he uses all the medical terms yet he vulgarizes them perfectly. And when my husband told him we sometimes get tired of doctors treating us like we’re stupid because we have accent, his reply was “Do you know the percentage of Latino medical specialists we have in this country?”
The first step will be taking Clomid (which is used to induce egg production in women who wish to become pregnant, but don’t ovulate) and see where we go from there. I’m trying to be cool about this and not worry too much; take it one step at a time. I’m sure the freak-out moment will come sooner or later, but right now I’m hopeful. I’m also extremely lucky to have a wonderful man by my side. I love him so much… and we WILL have babies. :)
“Oh, you’re so good with kids!” — I hear it often. I love kids, I’ve taken care of kids, I want kids! I’ve wanted kids for years, haven’t been able to have them, haven’t really tried having them. I kind of resigned myself to the idea that it would happen if it was supposed to happen… and then I waited and waited and waited some more. And then the clock started ticking really hard. I’m 36 years old, longing to be a mother and it’s time to get serious about babies. That’s why tomorrow I’m going to see a reproductive endocrinologist and get the 411 on fertility treatments.
To be honest, I’m scared sh*tless (pardon my French). This is huge… and I mean H-U-G-E. After all, we’re dealing with a long history of hormonal imbalances, hypothyroidism and diabetes. Not to mention the emotional part that can get quite interesting, but that’s something I’ll deal with when it happens. Then there’s the financial part because OMGexpensivecrap! But you know what? I am ready to do this, and my husband is ready and we’re happy and excited and what the heck took me so long to do something about this? That’s what my OBGYN asked. And I gave him the whole “Well, you know… I have to lose weight and get ready.” — which he agreed with, but he also said there is no reason for me to keep myself from the joys of having a child if I want it so much when medical science is so advanced.
High risk pregnancy is written in big, red letters all over the place. I’m not stupid, I know what’s in there for me. But I have to try so at least I can say that I tried instead of leaving everything to chance and fate. I’m at a point in my life where I’m making things happen and this is one of the most important ones. I’ve started to picture my marriage with children and I once heard that you shouldn’t let go of a dream before giving yourself the chance to make it come true.
The worst that can happen is that it doesn’t work. And there will still be options. Let the road to Motherhood begin!
And I want to know what it’s like
To bring a dream to life.
For that kind of love,
What I’d give up!
I would die for that.
– Kellie Coffey
A couple of weeks ago I was looking at photos of a recent social event and the thing that shocked me the most was seeing a bunch of people sitting together at a table but not talking to each other. Why? Because they were all stuck to their cellphones, probably sending a tweet, checking email or posting on Facebook. Yes, because that’s what we do these days. I am as guilty as anyone else on the boat… very guilty. It drives my husband insane, it drives me insane when he does it. It makes everyone insane. I’m one of those people who, as soon as she gets a table at a restaurant, pulls the cellphone out of her purse and doesn’t talk that much because there’s a status to post, a text message to reply, an email account to check, etc. Sounds horrible, doesn’t it? It is!
We spent New Year’s Eve with friends in Indiana and I realized how much time I spent connected to everyone, but not to the people I had in front of me (I don’t know if Ann and Dave read my blog, but I am so sorry for being so rude!). Then, the next morning, the first thing I see on the courtesy newspaper at the hotel is the headline: 2010: The Year We Stopped Talking to One Another, an article on USA Today. It states that 93% of people who live in the U.S. now use cellphones or wireless devices and they are effectively disconnecting us from people in the same room. Yes, Twitter and Facebook are cool, and people are so nice, and you have to know what’s going on… but when you end up ignoring those who are sitting next to you, that’s just not nice.
Read the article, it’s interesting. It made me think. My husband claims it’s a shame I didn’t realize it before or listened to him when he told me it’s annoying. But hey, he does it too. We’re way too available to everyone, we may as well give the person in front of us our undivided attention as a sign of respect. Life is all about making decisions and we can control ourselves. I’ll be more thoughtful and put that iPhone in my purse when there are people who want to have a conversation with me.
My office phone rang this morning and I promptly answered with my usual greeting, stating where I work and who I am. The first thing I heard is “Oh, did I just call some sort of Spanish line?” — No, dude! I have an accent… seriously? In this time and date, and especially in this melting pot the U.S. is, how can you get surprised when someone with a foreign accent answers the phone? Someone said I should have replied “Si” and continue talking in Spanish; unfortunately my smartassness is not working today, and who wants to get in a fight with ignorant people, anyway?
I’ve posted about it before, prejudiced people who seem to forget what world they live in, or people who have to blurt out that kind of line just because they 1) think they’re better than anyone else, 2) are afraid of the Spanish invasion or 3) apparently live under a rock. It makes me angry and then it makes me laugh. I consider myself lucky for having embraced different cultures and getting adapted to them. It’s opened my eyes, and which is even funnier is the fact that I come from a country where cultural diversity is so limited (people from other countries just don’t move to Colombia in masses like they do to the U.S.), we may be the ones who get the shock when there is too much added to the mix.
I work at a college and when I go out of my office and walk down the hallways of this place, all I can see if variety of races, accents, languages, beliefs. I love it, I learn something every day and I don’t, in any way, feel threatened by any of it. I don’t need to point at people’s accents, I don’t need to ask stupid questions like the one I was asked this morning.
I’ve heard all kinds of racist, xenophobic, ignorant comments from people. I’ve been rejected by a client on my first day of work because of my ethnicity. I’ve been yelled at by angry people who claimed I was probably providing customer service from a “dirty hut in Asia.” I’ve been told that education is bad in underdeveloped countries and that’s why immigrants can’t make it in the Big North. I can continue with the list, I’ve experienced it all… and I DO NOT LIKE IT. I will never stop voicing my frustration about this, people need to listen and learn.
Gracias por llamar a la línea en Español de Betizuka.com.