Growing Old

“I will not allow anyone to walk through my mind with their dirty feet”. ~Ghandi~

I like to start my entry for today with that quote by the greatest Mohandas Ghandi. It was shared by one of my online acquitances. Thank you, Maria… that quote is an statement of freedom of mind, of transparence of the heart. So good for the present days, where my heart is still hurt by recent events, but at the same time proud for being able to achieve the state of mind where I can say that I don’t feel guilty anymore.

I guess it’s part of growing older. The years pass and bring more experiences and a way to learn that we all change for the best. I’m at a moment in my life where I feel satisfied of what I am and what I do and a moment where I feel I can achieve anything I want if I put all my heart and soul into it. It might not be easy, but now I feel confident and I’m sure the people who are close to me will be the greatest support because the more the day pass, the more I realize who I can trust.

If I say that my life has been all honey and roses, it would be the biggest lie of all. But I can’t complain about it either. Sure there have been moments when I thought I was not going to get out of the hole, and when I wondered why I felt so lonely, or why I wasn’t able to find someone to love me. There have been moments too where the hope was just not there, where I wanted to leave this world and big big shadow of sadness in the hearts of those who really love me… But those moments are gone now…

I’m in place where I feel totally happy, with the person I love with all my heart, doing what I can to make everything work at it’s 100%, learning new things everyday. People say I’ve changed so much, and some of them might not like what they see after knowing the careless person I was before; getting older has made me a little bitter too, but I like it this way because with so many people disappointing you at times, it is better to have a head more than a heart.

Yes, I like the way I am now. Knowing what is best for me, thinking of a way where I can improve everyday. Reaching for the perfect balance between my own needs and kindness towards others. For the first time in my 27 years of existence I’m almost completely satisfied with the person I am, yet there are still many things I have to change for my own sake… but I know I will get there!

Being older is good… let the years come!