Moving to Chicago meant I had to get a whole new set of doctors. I’ve been lucky enough to find good ones that (seem to) know what they are doing and with very short drives from home. My first visit with the endocrinologist was great and I’ve been taking care of myself, following (almost) all his recommendations. Next appointment was with the OB-GYN to discuss my rather frustrating femaleness and the whole trying to conceive thing; not an easy task for a person like me.
I am not blind to my health issues. I am morbidly obese (that took courage to write down!), I have type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a poor-functioning thyroid gland and other conditions related to my weight. It annoys me to no end when people talk to me as if they think I have no idea of what I have to deal with. Yet I don’t do enough to change things; or maybe I do but it doesn’t work.
I’ve been chubby all my life. I have tried every single diet in the book. I remember my mom making me drink grapefruit juice and other badly-tasting concoctions every morning when I was a kid. When I was in 5th grade I went to see weight-loss doctor who ended up giving me amphetamines to everyone’s dismay. When I went to college I saw a doctor who was very much in vogue with the Atkins diet. I’ve seen tons of dietitians; I’ve done the Herbalife thing and some others. In 2005 I was able to lose 50% of the weight I need to get rid of all by myself, but once I left the discipline of eating healthy and going to the gym every day I’m back at square one. It happens all the time; people think you have no will power or that you’re lazy. They don’t get that obesity is a chronic disease.
I’m not going to elaborate on the psychological consequences of the “Yoyo Effect.” I think I’ve managed to have a pretty normal life despite being made fun of when I was a kid, feeling rejected by the guy I liked when I was a teenager, being told I wasn’t good enough to attend a certain college where only pretty people go, etc. And while I have to admit all that has played a role in my development as a person, I think it’s a matter of personal responsibility to deal with it and take the steps to change certain things that don’t work.
So now the focus is my health and the fact that if I want to be ready for conception I need to take a very careful look at the options out there. That’s why when my OB-GYN asked me if I’ve ever considered bariatric surgery I decided that I’m going to look into it. I’ve heard horror stories and it’s scary, but there are also the good stories and it doesn’t hurt to ask. I talked to my cousin – who’s a doctor and one of the people whose opinion I value the most – and when she told me “by all means, go for it!” I knew I had to get more information.
So I’ve been reading a lot about lap-band surgery, I joined a message board and I’m going to see a surgeon with great reviews on February 2nd. From the looks of it, I’m a good candidate for the surgery, and I know it will be a long process but I think it’s worth a shot.
In Spanish we say “A grandes males, grandes remedios.” – It means the bigger the problem, the bigger the remedy needs to be. Maybe it’s time for me to think bigger.
Bea, I love you and stand behind you 100%! You are a good and loving person that has stared adversity in the face everyday. You deserve this next step in life that will lead to a longer life and filled with many more exciting times and memories. If you ever need to vent about anything during the process, don’t hesitate to find me.
You have to be REALLY ready for it. I’m a bit older, use an insulin pump, but feel free to read what I’ve posted at my site and what I’m posted on Diabetes Daily.
Bariatric surgery is just a tool and you still have to deal with all the issues.
And you can gain weight or just not loss after it, just as any other weight loss tool.
BEA: I AM IN YOUR SHOES I AM MORBID OBESITY AND HAVE DIABETIES. MEDICARE IS COVERING THE SURGERY BECAUSE I AM DISABLED. KNEE PAIN & DEPRESSION. I HOPE TO SCHEDULE MY SURGERY FEB 15 AROUND VALENTINES DAY “LOVE MYSELF DAY” IF YOU WANT YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AND KEEP IN TOUCH CHERIE
Bea don’t get discouraged, and never let anyone tell you that you should not have bariatric surgery, and tell you scary stories, unless they had the surgery themselfs. Me I am obese, and have no insurance, which I wish I did because I really want to have the bariatric surgery done on me. So Bea if you are covered and if I were you, I would diffentally get the surgery. Go for it girl, I am with you 100%.
Reading your story reminds me so much about my life. It was as if I was reading a biograghy of myself. I also considered the surgery but am terrified of going under the knife. You have courage and hope that I too one day will be able to do the same.
Bea, you do what ever you need to do to be healthy & happy. Your friends will be supportive. Hugs…
Hi,
We do all stand with you on this issue, and i dare say most fight the same fight. Medications can pack weight on also..complicated with the diabeties..anyway, don’t laugh, BUT, I purchased a wii game set, as someone i knew overweight lost 50 pounds; so i got it, and now me and my body are now incorporated the wii bowling etc into my excercizing and ITS ACTUALLY WORKING’; you might want to concider it’;
its fun while your bowling, tennis etc but the boxing and bowling are the one that really gets you.. its like your actually out at a bowling alley and bowling. it works! i am now fitting a real nice pair of jeans that i could not button before… i play one hour a day..
I am much older than you are, already had my family and when I was young I did not struggle with my weight, I was not a diabetic as I am now (type 2) but today, at 52, I am having a terrible time, worrying about my weight is at an all time high. I have many heath problems from the Diabetes, including a newly diagnosed cardiac issue. I seem to have developed Diabetes around 2005, started on pills and have been insulin dependent for approx. 2 years.
Anyway – I used to be SO disciplined, SO careful but I have begun to really slip and do very foolish things in the way that I eat. It scares me – I know it is really bad but my sweet tooth has begun to win out and I eat wrong things almost daily now. I am so angry with myself but it is almost like a person with a drinking problem or a addiction of some kind…I can’t seem to stay away from sweets, chips, goodies as I like to call them IF they come my way. I am so ashamed and it astounds me that I can eat these things knowing full well how dangerous they are to me! I make one excuse after another to justify it…I have become so weak. Is anyone out there like me? Any advice or help would be so appreciated – I am furious with myself, I think I need my head examined!
Bea,
I’m so proud of you for putting yourself out there in this post. That does take a lot of courage. I’m right there with you on the frustration of trying to get pregnant. What’s the saying? “God laughs when we make plans.” :)
Regarding the lap band surgery… A friend of mine did it and it made a huge difference in her life. She made a budget and saved up for it! She said it was the best money she ever spent. She lost a very healthy amount of weight, and while she is still “plus size,” she is healthy and she feels good … which is what it’s all about, right?
You have many, many people supporting you in whatever direction you go.
Big Hugs,
Catherine
I have often read your blog in the past and found it to be one of the best on the web,although I did’nt always agree with everything you said…..lol…..Have been off hte ‘puter for awhile now and found your blog after a little searching.
as I would expect it is as good as ever.
I am sorry to hear your health issues continue but will pray that you and hubby our blessed with a little bundle of joy before to long……blessings,Karen