This is something I’ve been thinking about lately. When my husband told me that happiness was like a switch and I just had to turn it on, I thought the idea was too simplistic and rather unrealistic. I’ve grown up thinking that when life sucks, then we just have to pout and let it suck for a while until it gets better. In my little head I never thought it was my own task to be happy despite life’s “suckiness.” We humans are so used to complain about everything, that it doesn’t matter when things get good, we still think they suck because we want more. And that makes think of the following:

The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism are:

1. Suffering is universal (to be born is to suffer)
2. The cause of suffering is desire (desire propels the cycle of Samsara)
3. Suffering can be eliminated (through man’s own untiring efforts)
4. There is a path to the cessation of suffering. (the practice of Dhamma)

While I’m not a Buddhist and my mother would probably sent me to excommunication camp if I ever dared to become one (just kidding, of course… not really… don’t know…), I do appreciate many of the Buddhist teachings and I’ve been trying to follow a little bit of this ancient philosophy. Mostly because I simply want to learn to be happy and stop blaming whatever/whoever I think it is responsible for my shortcomings. I want to take responsibility of my own destiny, put all that guilt I feel in a bag and throw it in the river forever and learn to be happy with the present moment without getting anxious about what’s to come. But I digress…

I’ve been thinking of how concentrated I am in what I haven’t achieved, that I always forget about the things I’ve done, and the things I have. Is it human nature? Sure it is. More often than not I hear stories of people who just want more. Like one I saw on the Morning Show about a lady who lost her job, but then found one quickly after that. Her new job has nothing to do with what she’s supposed to know, and she was just complaining about it; how hard it is, how boring it is, how difficult it is. And I was thinking of the many people who would give all they have to be in her shoes and actually have a job. There was an expert telling her how to do things to make her days go faster and easier. I got the idea of her frustration, but the thought made me sad… we just don’t focus on the good things often enough.

Another example, more personal this time: I woke up this morning and saw our bedroom in a mess. I started getting ready for work and then I got upset because I found nothing to wear (which is stupid because I have enough clothes… more than enough). And I let it ruin the morning to the point of being rude to my husband (but of course I admitted that just now and not when he told me I hurt him). I finally got dressed and left for work. On my way to the office I held the elevator doors open for a man on a wheelchair and when we got off he gave me the most beautiful smile and wished me a very good day. There I was, almost in tears and feeling disappointed with myself for being upset about stupid things.

I was watching “Love Happens” last night. If you haven’t watched it, it tells the story of a man who loses his wife in a car accident and writes a book about how to cope with that kind of loss. The trick of the movie is that he’s teaching tons of people to deal with their feelings, but he still doesn’t go through his own grieving process, pushing everything under the carpet and pretending life just goes on. And yes, life goes on, but in order to learn to be happy we have to learn how to deal with the losses and roll with the punches. The key is not to get stuck or use those losses as an excuse not to move on. And that would be my main problem sometimes; like I said, I think life just sucks and that’s the way it is. Why try to pretend I’m happy, right? Wrong.

If there’s a way to end suffering, then I’m striving to find it. If there’s a way to choose to be happy, I want to learn it. I want to turn that switch on no matter what. I want my life simpler and my days longer to do more fun things. It’ll be an interesting process. I think the first step will be figuring out why small stuff makes me so upset sometimes. And then we’ll go from there.