One of my favorite questions to people these days is “What are you doing this weekend?” I’m curious to know how people use their free time. And the question has the intention to make a comparison between my Colombian culture and the American culture. My conclusion is that after a work day/week, people in Colombia go home and just relax. Weekends are for relaxation and impromptu meetings with friends and family, without objective or agenda. No call two weeks in advance, no master plan, no PDA to check what we’re doing that weekend to see if we can fit people/activities in.
One thing I noticed since I moved to North America, is that people are constantly moving. They not only do their work, but they get involved in 8,000 different things to occupy every single slot in their planner. And it makes me feel like I’m missing something. What do I have programmed in my life? Absolutely nothing. I go to work, I do what I have to do at home, and when the opportunity presents itself I socialize. But I don’t feel the need to do something all the time or I will go nuts. For me, it is OK to stay at home and do nothing. Nothing includes, of course, reading, watching TV, etc… not just starting at the ceiling making friends with shadows on the wall.
I asked my husband once if everyone is like that here, and he said “Yes, everyone.” — I believe that part of it is that with the change of seasons, people also change. We have to prepare ourselves for change 4 times a year, so that kind of keeps us moving. That’s one explanation I can come up with.
Another one is that people need to have a sense of belonging in a society where family is not always present, and where friendships (I’m sorry to say this) lack that spontaneity well known to Latinos. I’m not saying it makes us better, I’m just saying it makes us different. We Latinos are OK with doing nothing when it comes to our free time.
I would love some input. :-)
Weekends are for big house projects. Having fun….
My goal is to have free weekends that I can use to lie around the house and recharge my personal batteries. However, this particular weekend is/was completely filled with activities.
People have a hard time with the just show up at your door type of visit. I think it has to do with just the fast pace of life here as opposed to in other countries. I wrestle with the double culture, because in this aspect of it I am more American than Colombian and love to have a million things to do… I like being busy. Relaxing is a bonus, but I always enjoy having a lot of things to do.
I think it also has to do with the family centric way we lived back in Colombia… dinner’s at Grandma, hanging out with cousins. I think the pace is about the same in some aspects, it just feels less planned.
Nice to meet you yesterday as we piled another thing to do on the weekend.
The free time issue is also an introvert vs. extrovert thing. I’m more introverted, so while I like to have some social stuff planned on the weekends, it’s best for me to also have some relaxing time planned to recharge.
I think we have alot to learn from Latino and even European culture. I have a friend in town who was raised 1/2 of her childhood in Peru (in fact her mother retired back to Peru recently). She feels like you…things shouldn’t have to all be so tightly scheduled…Her mother is back in town for a few weeks this summer and she just seems so much more relaxed than most of the people I know.
I also say we could learn from European culture, because when I visited a client in Scotland, we religiously took a break from meetings at 10 and 3 for “tea time”. Someone from the office cafeteria would literally wheel in tea and biscuits for tea time EVERY day. No matter how serious the meeting was, they always took the break! That would never happen here! I’ve heard it said they “work to live” and we “live to work.” We have it backwards!!
I grew up in a rural area where family and friends would just “drop in” on a weekend. I tried that here in the big city (ha ha) and my old co-worker who was 20 years older than my husband and I said NO ONE had ever done that before in his adult married life!! How sad.