Not long ago, I read a blog piece in El País, a Colombian newspaper. It was about how lonely people get when they move to a new country. All my fellow ex-pats know exactly how this feels, especially during the holidays when everyone seems to have a family plan, and ours is thousands of miles away.
People leave their country of origin thinking they can make a better life for themselves and their families somewhere else. Many succeed in the sense of being able to get a job and have a somewhat decent living that they probably wouldn’t be able to have under different conditions. This, however, comes with the rampant intolerance, racism and ignorance of many and a big deal of just feeling lonely. It doesn’t matter how many people we meet, we still simply don’t belong outside our home countries.
This being said, when my husband tells me he wants to go back to Colombia, I take it with a grain of salt. I am reluctant to just leave it all behind and go back. I’ve been in North America for almost 10 years now, and when I decided to come back on my own I did it because I knew I could do much better here. I won’t go as deep as to discuss the social and economical reasons of my move… I’ll just leave it at I like how life is here… most of the time. But like Facundo Cabral, “No soy de aquí ni soy de allá.”
When the holidays come it is hard to be away from the homeland. It is very hard to be away from your family. And you try to find people who have things in common with you; you try to find co-patriots you can relate to. It isn’t easy sometimes, even more when the only place that resembles your home country is closed down (that Colombian restaurant everyone seemed to enjoy so much).
And then you have to make the best of it, putting a little light in your life and realizing that despite feeling normally lonely, it doesn’t mean you’re alone. There will always be someone who appreciates you and wants to see you. They may not be your family, but darn close to it. And that’s when you start feeling like you belong.
Please don’t go back to Colombia! By all means, get the hell out of Kansas, but don’t leave the country. Not until Logtar fixes my XPS! Just kidding!
Seriously, you guys are awesome and you’ve made some good friends here. Friends who understand that it’s O.K. to disagree and have differing view points. Conversations are pretty boring if everybody holds the same point of view.
We would miss you and our lives would be less rich without you in them.
Don’t go. Stay. Keep making our lives and our country a better place by sharing yourselves with us.
You at least have to stick around for as long as Obama is president! You earned the right to experience this period of our history and, sadly, you both paid a very high price for it. You have to see how it plays out.
I know how you feel Bea. But that is what makes us so unique. We are citizens of the world. We are not 100% USA, not 100% Canada, or 100% Colombia. We are less of each country but when added together more than 100%. We appreciate more, more than the people back home & more than the people here. I agree with XO. STAY!
I’ll echo everything XO and Spyder said and add that you and Logtar are invited to join my family for Christmas if you don’t mind a non-Colombian menu for dinner! :)
I could never imagine being thousands of miles away from my family nor would I ever chance it. Being 180 miles from my parents is too far as it is. I could never attempt to understand what it feels like to have that missing part of a life and I would never wish that feeling on anyone else. That being said, DON’T LEAVE!!!
The farthest I have been from family was in the Navy, and then I was still in the US. I can’t imagine how you feel and I won’t try. I love you guys, and I want you to do whatever makes you happy. But I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss you.