Trust Again
A good friend of mine, who I seem to have parallel break-up stories with, asked me a question that haunts most divorcés: How and when do you trust someone again? I gave her the first answer that came to my mind, and I think it was a good one. I told her there is no time line or instruction booklet, it just happens. And when does it happen? That depends on how open you are, but it also depends on the other person. Trust is something people offer you, something you feel comfortable with giving and receiving, not something you program yourself to do.
I told my friend that in my case I'm with someone who makes me feel like I'm his whole world; when he looks at me, I feel there is nothing else going on around him, as if time stops, and that's an amazing feeling. I trust him with blind eyes and I also respect him. Although it is true that we do not need anyone else to make us happy, when it comes to relationships both people have to work really hard on making each other feel truly appreciated. There is no room for taking anyone for granted, and that allows us to trust.
Trust happens when it's supposed to happen. We'll feel ready one day, but also someone else comes along that makes us feel it is time to open up to love again. And doubt doesn't make part of the equation; you either love someone or you don't. When you're sure about what you feel and have no doubt about it, then that's probably when you're trusting someone again. Or that's how I see it.
April 26th, 2007 - 12:26
reading this I just thought of something.
I am completely of the thinking that happiness is one’s responsibilities; I also think that a relationship also has a level of happiness that is the responsibility of those involved.
I think to keep a relationship alive, everyone involved has to work at it and make the other person happy. It takes dedication and knowing what the other person perceives as love.
As far as trust, that is probably one of the hardest topics to discuss and to give again once it has been bridged. Some people might feel that trust is something that is all about cheating, however I think there are other levels… like for example not be embarrassed in front of people by inappropriate behavior to me is also part of trusting someone. Also trusting that the other person will take all the knowledge they acquire through a relationship and never use it against you in any way. When we open our innermost fears, weaknesses and secrets to someone they should never used them against us.
Trusting someone again after all of that has happened to you in the past takes a ton of love. I am glad I can say I am able to love and trust again despite the fact of being burned pretty badly. I guess how and when depends on the individuals that are entering a new relationship… if someone makes you feel comfortable, live and love again… take the scars as lesson’s learned but do not expect the next person to hurt you like the ones before did.
April 26th, 2007 - 15:59
I trust easily. What I miss the most is that encompassing feeling of being completely, totally, absolutely, in love.
With time I grow more and
April 27th, 2007 - 11:01
Once you have trust you assume it’s always going to be there. Remember to keep yourself and the one you love in check so no one gets broadsided.