Two Thousand and Five
This year was really hard for me, I was pushed to my limits, I discovered there is the kind of pain that will break your soul in a million pieces, but I also learned that if we don’t let it take over we are capable of great things. I think I’ve cried more tears this year than in my whole life, but I have also received so much love and support that no matter how sad I feel, I know there always will be someone willing to help me walk the winded road.
It’s funny how my life has been marked with the number 5. I was born on the 5th of December, I was the 5th kid of the family, I lived all my childhood in house # 5, then moved to another # 5 house when I went to college, my married life I lived in apartment # 5, my marriage was over in the 5th year and 2005 feels like the year I was born again. Ah! And I’m moving to apartment 205 on Monday, go figure! I don’t know what it means, but I always think of it. 2005 will be over in a few hours and I want it to be over, not because it was a bad year, but because I will feel I’m moving forward.
2006… Going back to college, getting my degree, living on my own. It sounds so scary, but I have nothing to lose. I’m here, starting all over, empty hands and all. I didn’t break and I won’t break. When I talk to my mother she always tells me that things are going to be all right and I trust her heart, because it’s never been wrong. She’s far away, but I feel her with me all the time and her support will keep me going.
Now to finish this post, a dream my mom had: She was walking a long road and she suddenly felt tired and sad. She sat on a rock and felt someone’s arms on her shoulders. She then turned her head there was grandma, all smiles, telling her not to be afraid because things would be just fine. My grandma passed away in 2002, she was the most corageous woman I’ve known and I do believe I’m getting a message from her, to tell me to be strong and to go on because good things will happen to those of us who have faith.
Happy New Year, everyone. I’m planning to live my life to the fullest in 2006.
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